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Trimming Fat

Trimming Fat

It’s time I address the elephant in the room…

I’m no dummy, I know what everyone is talking about with regard to me. I am not tone deaf. The writing on the wall is in NEON BOLD and SCREAMING at this point.

Dime for scale (I’ve always wanted a reason to write that)

Dime for scale (I’ve always wanted a reason to write that)

Yes… what you have been hearing is true… one of my boobs is MUCH LARGER than the other.

I’m not thirsty and I don’t want a bunch of randoms with an asymmetry fetish jerking off to my blog so I won’t post a pic of my boobs (sorry Ralph not tuh-day). However this photo of my pumping efforts is a very good representation of what my chest-al area looks like lately. And guys… I hate it so much!

*looks wistfully out in the distance in remembrance*

They were the Olsen twins of boobs.

Petite and uncannily similar. Small and you could never quite tell which one you were talking to. Some would say - “I like the right one because she has a triad of freckles that are so cute and man can that bitch kick a field goal!”

Others would disagree and say “nah the left one is where it’s at she has those quirky black hairs that sprout up mid-cycle plus I saw her freehand a picture of the Statue of Liberty and it damn near looked like a photograph.”

Despite their talent and personality differences you could transpose them for labor law purposes and never know the difference. I wore $7 preteen bras from Target as a way of silently bragging while my busty friends lamented the cost of Victoria Secret bras. I would argue till I was blue in the face against friends getting implants asking why they would torture themselves with bigguns.


Those days are very over. Not only are my boobs fuggin huge now (34DD +/-), my left boob has become the fatish aunt. Rotund, pendulous, and always sweaty (even in AC wtf). Now to give her credit, she’s also the workhorse feeder boob basically responsible for keeping my child alive. That said, I am not one of those moms who is just into whatever body changes are happening to me at the time due to pregnancy and now motherhood.

I ain’t that evolved.

I do NOT like these huge and uneven boobs and I cannot wait for them to go down even if they end up sad empty sacks. I do NOT like the extra weight on my middle and hips that I’ve developed and that is sticking around mainly because of my love of goldfish crackers and Burger King Whoppers. To me it is not beautiful, sorry but that’s exactly how I feel right meow.

Today I am intentionally starting my journey of trimming the fat off my body by hiring a nutrition coach. Stay tuned for me to look less tubby and hopefully less busty too.

I’ve been on this trimming the fat aka downsizing tip for a minute now that I think about it. In ALL aspects of my life.

I started with my house. It was too big and expensive so I sold it and we bought something that fit us and our life and needs better (and paid off a bunch of debt BONUS). Closed an office that literally wasn’t necessary and set our employees up to work from home (which they love) saving us a monthly lease payment and all related expenses. Cut back on frivolous spending which is so incredibly freeing - eating at home, not buying shit because we are bored, focusing on being content in what we have instead of seeking more More MORE.

Now I am turning my attention to my business. As I’ve worked with super successful people, one thing they all say to me is that I am too nice to my clients. This may be a shock to some of you who don’t know me well but I tend to bend over backwards and take it up the butt when it comes to my clients’ wants and needs (and this girl ain’t into no butt-stuff I’m a Christian or whatever). This is the same pattern I had when it came to my gym. I’ve been thinking about why this is for the past several months and the impact it’s had on my business and my soul.

In an effort to be everything to everyone, I have not only been disrespecting myself but I am also not delivering at my best.

Who would have thought that trying to tailor what you offer to each and every person, chasing every client no matter how ridiculous or just out of line their expectations are compared to what you’re offering, lowers your value.

You become their bitch.

And the minute you don’t do exactly what they want is the minute they split. Lately, I have been working to stop this cycle in both my real estate business and gym.

It feels good to honor myself and say that this client isn’t the right client for me.

It is immensely freeing to allow people to drift off who clearly don’t fit instead of the old me who would relentlessly pursue, discount, bend over backwards for someone who has one foot out the door (or up my butt) anyways. It feels so exciting to CHOOSE who I will and will not do business with and having that based on me delivering what I am best at to people who recognize my value. It is so much easier to play with people who want what you’ve naturally got instead of those asking you to be something you are not.

This renewed energy has led me down a path that is SO FUCKING EXCITING, especially for my gym. A big change is afoot that I cannot wait to share with my members. The best fitness community in AZ is about to get even better AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So stay tuned for that especially if you go to El Jefe.

I will leave you with this homework in the meantime. Take a look at who and what you are compromising yourself for and cut it off.

Scary as it may be, there is nothing and NOBODY worth losing yourself and your vision over.

Wish me luck on taming these tigobitties!


Grape Juice

Grape Juice